Growing up as a type 1 diabetic was not fun at all. Growing up was challenging enough, and to have type 1 diabetes made it even tougher. There were periods of rebellion, denial, asking the "why me?", and even trying to pretend that I don't have the illness. Yet, reality can rear its head in the most unexpected moments, and you find yourself regretting the things you have done, wishing you could turn back the time and straighten up, so you can somehow prevent complications.
I am not really sure how to say this, or how to blog about it. I'm not even sure I am ready. All I know, is that for whatever reason it may be, my attitude toward my diabetes changed 17 years ago... when reality kicked in. Since then, I am trying my best to enjoy life, see life, and experience life everyday I wake up. I see things different. I see myself different. I cannot foresee the future. But I can see the most important things in life.
My life changed, and I have to adapt to changes. What I really feel guilty about is that my husband and daughter have to adapt to the things and changes I have to go through. It's not fair for them. Sometimes, I feel like they were dragged into this situation when they do not need to be. Yet, I find strength and courage when they tell me everything is going to be OK....no matter what.
This courage gave me so much to live for. More than I can even imagine. I decided then to become a stay at home mom, watched our daughter grow, to become the most independent, confident, and smart 16 year old that I have ever met. I watched my husband stand by my side, through doctor's appointments, through nursing school, through the tough and fantastic times. And now as a nurse, I make it a point to do my best, to make a difference, to somehow give back for all the lessons I have learned.
The lessons I have learned made me appreciate more of the simple things I just let pass by. The beauty of the sunrise, spring, and flowers blooming - signifying new life, new hope, new dreams. The beauty of sunset, fall colors, and winter snow - signifying there is tomorrow to wake up to, and that snow eventually melts giving way to spring all over again,.
It all comes in a full circle. Reality brings us back to where we need to be. Even if it means that time might not be enough to see everything I want to see. I am thankful for the time I have right now. Hoping and praying to see more of how beautiful life can be.
|I love yellow daisies !!!|